Women's role in the onset of erectile dysfunction

Women's role in the onset of erectile dysfunction

You might think this is impossible - how can the object of your desire possibly contribute to your erectile dysfunction?  The answer is - in many ways! First of all, women are not usually able to relate very well to male sexual issues and problems. They may not listen, they may instead try and sooth and solve problems - and they cannot understand what a change in male sexuality as profound as loss of erection means to a man. (Imagine trying to understand the changes in a woman's perspective throughout her menstrual cycle.) This issue is made worse because most women interpret any fluctuations in a man's sexuality as somehow related to her and her desirability. So when a man loses his erection, she may well think this is a reflection on her, that she has done something wrong, or that he is being unfaithful....and so on. If an emotional or sexual relationship is quite new, a woman may well interpret a man's erectile dysfunction as a sign that he no longer finds her attractive, and she may begin to ask questions to try and establish her responsibility in the matter. But such loaded questions usually alienate a man even more and tend to make him feel under even more pressure, thereby producing a slew of emotions which are more likely than ever to cause him to lose his lose his erection. The partner's role in erectile dysfunction is discussed here.

A lot of couples' sexual relationship is biased towards the woman, in subtle but important ways. One of these is the expectation that a man will always satisfy his partner first, so that she need never be without an orgasm, nor need she ever feel unfulfilled. Well, OK, but how about her taking a turn to serve him, to give him sexual pleasure without expecting sexual fulfilment in return? If she can't come through intercourse, or he can't last long enough, then it's useful for a couple to agree that from time to time he can have a quickie, where he just fucks her for his own pleasure, with no expectations on her part other than giving him pleasure. This kind of sexual interaction takes all the pressure off him, it allows him to forget about pleasing her, to stop worrying about whether he will keep his erection for long enough to give her pleasure, and lets him just engage completely with his sexual desire and the thrill of his orgasm and ejaculation. If a woman does not wish to do this, or doesn't understand how necessary this kind of "no-strings" fuck is for a man, then a couple may quickly revert to a pattern of resentment and blame, whereby she thinks his erectile failure is her fault, or that he doesn't desire her enough, where she puts the blame on him, and where his resentment and anger is so high that he cannot get erect because he feels no intimacy with his partner.  This is especially true for older men who may not even have erectile dysfunction, but whose lack of an erection may simply be a reflection of the need for hand or mouth stimulation from their partner.

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